You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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