Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
