ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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