I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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