Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
