you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
