GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
