she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
