Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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