We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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