just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
