She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
