Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
