After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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