i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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