Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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