And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
