I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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