what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
