You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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