***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
