so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
