We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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