if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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