I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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