booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
