your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize
