It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
