If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
