eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
