I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
