thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I need to calm my uterus...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize