i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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