Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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