It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
