all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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