O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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