FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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