Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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