guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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