I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
