So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
