btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize