do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.