Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.