Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.

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  (651): drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then. http://tfl.nu/hp3p
  Replies (17) Good night (2963) Bad night (810)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Did you just see the Batmobile???

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  (248): Did you just see the Batmobile??? http://tfl.nu/vqtz
  Replies (24) Good night (5748) Bad night (597)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?

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  (803): Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation? http://tfl.nu/0dba
  Replies (15) Good night (4989) Bad night (1837)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.

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  (216): She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass. http://tfl.nu/vn76
  Replies (25) Good night (4863) Bad night (1871)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.

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  (440): i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky. http://tfl.nu/4mz4
  Replies (264) Good night (2760) Bad night (27617)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.

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  (770): No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party. http://tfl.nu/c4s1
  Replies (9) Good night (3585) Bad night (734)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow

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  (908): We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow http://tfl.nu/g44q
  Replies (2) Good night (1512) Bad night (815)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy

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  (404): You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together (770): The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy http://tfl.nu/sw3w
  Replies (7) Good night (2943) Bad night (755)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend

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  (208): I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend http://tfl.nu/wdl5
  Replies (13) Good night (3365) Bad night (737)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.

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  (907): i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet. http://tfl.nu/l2j7
  Replies (5) Good night (1664) Bad night (566)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius

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  (973): Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius http://tfl.nu/trod
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (1691)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.

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  (616): EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA. http://tfl.nu/4vpy
  Replies (9) Good night (1730) Bad night (594)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'

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  (514): MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.' http://tfl.nu/5zwe
  Replies (7) Good night (1830) Bad night (513)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.

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  (303): Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture. http://tfl.nu/4zls
  Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (376)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?

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  (440): You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off? http://tfl.nu/y1qy
  Replies (1) Good night (173) Bad night (508)

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