Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.

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  (509): i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it. http://tfl.nu/yjzk
  Replies (12) Good night (1143) Bad night (2810)
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  (845): View more from New York

  puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.

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  (845): puked in the new hous. now it's officially home. http://tfl.nu/sb2t
  Replies (3) Good night (3280) Bad night (671)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  quadriplegic porn is always funny

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  no. no its not

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  (417): quadriplegic porn is always funny (832): no. no its not http://tfl.nu/0tdp
  Replies (38) Good night (1249) Bad night (4634)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.

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  (517): my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab. http://tfl.nu/ejcr
  Replies (22) Good night (534) Bad night (5049)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.

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  (336): This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard. http://tfl.nu/5chf
  Replies (36) Good night (6162) Bad night (1135)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks

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  (262): The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks http://tfl.nu/b2le
  Replies (25) Good night (6422) Bad night (1051)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.

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  (509): You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters. http://tfl.nu/qaew
  Replies (6) Good night (2713) Bad night (854)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id

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  (519): I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id http://tfl.nu/33hp
  Replies (5) Good night (2602) Bad night (1222)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.

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  (508): I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/6qay
  Replies (22) Good night (1538) Bad night (849)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter

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  (404): So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter http://tfl.nu/fadw
  Replies (3) Good night (334) Bad night (780)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.

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  (773): I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother. http://tfl.nu/a7sz
  Replies (3) Good night (314) Bad night (1113)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.

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  (201): In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me. http://tfl.nu/k6g0
  Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (549)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.

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  (250): You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is. http://tfl.nu/r86g
  Replies (2) Good night (451) Bad night (267)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"

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  (561): My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally" http://tfl.nu/drl0
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (389)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?

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  (253): Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand? http://tfl.nu/rm7i
  Replies (5) Good night (622) Bad night (218)

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