Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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