The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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