he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
