I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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