help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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