do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
