I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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