its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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