I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
