i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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