I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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