Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
