dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
