Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
