in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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