He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
