Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
